


This Dream Isn't Feeling Sweet

by smiley_seulgi



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, F/F, Fluff, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-30
Updated: 2018-07-31
Packaged: 2019-05-31 04:28:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 19,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15111815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smiley_seulgi/pseuds/smiley_seulgi
Summary: Inspired by Lorde’s song, “Ribs”, this story goes through the turmoil one might experience while in the midst of accepting adulthood. Entering into her last year of high school, Dahyun struggles with her biggest fear: growing old. She likes the place she’s in now, hanging in between the balance of holding onto her teenage years and reaching for adulthood. She doesn’t feel ready to let go. Luckily for Dahyun, Sana’s there to guide her through the last stages of transitioning into a young adult.





	1. The Drink You Spilt All Over Me

 

 

        Dahyun feels a familiar torrent of emotions rising and falling within her as she’s tipping back her second mixed drink of the night. Like waning and waxing of the moon, the bittersweet sensations of sadness and stress poured through her heart, lessened only by the haze of alcohol settling over her.

        The biting shock of strong Vodka aftertaste is barely concealed by the overly sweet taste of fruit punch sloshing along the insides of her cup. It makes her lips pucker up and her eyes screw shut as she takes in the burning sensation at the base of her throat.

        “Shit,” she hisses to herself. “That’s awful.” The taste holds a special kind of note to her palate that makes her wince with regret. For a second, the liquid threatens to resurface from her mouth and she struggles to choke the drink down.

        At this point in the party, the high school senior is more than just a little tipsy. She notes that as she’s leaning against the side of a wall, pretending to look at her blank phone nonchalantly. She didn’t have any notifications, but no one else had to know that.

        As she coolly does this, swiping through her social media feeds, her surroundings begin to spin. The sudden swirling of reality as she knows it doesn’t panic Dahyun like it used to. It’s become typical for nights like this one.

        Dahyun’s used to the floating, tingling sensation by now, in spite of how odd it felt as it coursed through her veins. She knows that she’s no angel. Like most of the kids stumbling around her with their own drinks in hand, she’d succumbed to the party life a couple years ago.

        Around this neck of the woods, there wasn’t much for rebellious youth to do for entertainment. In order to distract themselves, kids her age would run wild with the act of partying and rebelling before they grew older and had to search for work. How else could they cope with living in such a small city, where dreams were snuffed out so quickly?

        Tonight, there was a reason behind each sip of potent liquor Dahyun took. The constant drinks and the never ending partying had everything to do with screaming into the void. It was cliché, but true in this case.

        Dahyun’s uneasiness gained more and more momentum with each passing day that bringing her closer and closer to the harsh realities of growing old, of growing up. Rather than fearing something normal, like spiders or heights or flying, Dahyun’s one and only fear was this.

        Though Dahyun had more than enough entertainment in front of her to occupy her racing mind with the drunken high schoolers stumbling around her house, Dahyun found herself retreating into a familiar reverie.

        The entire concept of senior year drove her absolutely wild; the idea of growing up sent shivers down her spine. She was starting to get headaches by merely thinking about all of the impending events that would take place.

        She envisioned the amount of applications she would need to start completing, the stress inducing notion of choosing which college she would attend. Then the final day of her adolescence, when she walked the stage of her high school graduation.

        The concept of moving away from Seongnam seemed so far away, yet it was right around the corner. Dahyun was just a few months shy from gaining the title “graduate”, and her friends had urged her to throw this party the second her parents went out of town.

 

        “We’re finally going to be seniors!” Tzuyu had exclaimed a few days earlier. Her voice rang out loud and clear through the empty corridor of their empty school.

        The last bell had rung half an hour ago, dismissing students to their long awaited summer vacation in an instant. While everyone was busy swarming out of the building, four girls lingered behind, still cleaning out their lockers.

        The tall young woman was practically overflowing with glee, clapping her hands together. There was nothing better than a party to get the typically reserved girl hyped up.

        “Right! This is the perfect time to throw a party. We can make it a celebration now that we’re one step closer to reaching the freedoms of adulthood!” Chaeyoung shouted in turn.

        She clung to Tzuyu's arm as if the younger girl were a life raft, running her fingers along the fabric of the taller girl’s sleeve. Tzuyu glanced down at Chaeyoung with a soft smile, tilting her head down to place a gentle kiss on the shorter girl’s blushing cheek.

        The pair had been going steady ever since freshman year, a feat Dahyun applauded. Both of them were obviously deeply in love with each other, and it struck a chord with Dahyun that they found who they were meant to be with so soon in their lives.

        It reminded Dahyun that if only Sana hadn’t had to go to off to college before they’d gotten their chance to bloom into something more than just each other’s long time childhood crushes, perhaps the both of them would always be happy like that now.

        She tore her eyes away from the sight of the happy couple, choosing to focus on taking down the last of the magnetized photographs she’d pinned up around her locker at the beginning of the year. Yeri leaned against the locker next to Dahyun, with a slight pout on her face.

        “I agree with Tzuyu and Chaeyoung...I mean come on, Dahyun-ah. It’s not like you haven’t thrown a party before,” Yeri hastily added as she watched the girl drag her textbooks out of her locker.

        Being the more emotionally inclined of the group, Yeri had no trouble whatsoever in sensing Dahyun’s confliction. She rested a careful hand on Dahyun’s shoulder, making sure to understand that no matter if the girl threw the party or not, her friends would still support her decision.

        Dahyun closed the locker, not forgetting to slip the lock into her backpack, then studied the girls she considered her best friends. Each of them were beyond excited to be one step closer to adulthood, Dahyun could read it so clearly in their youthful faces.

        None of them had any idea she felt she were stuck in between living in the moment and living in the past, trying to make up for the time already spent. She wondered if any of them had felt the way she did. She bit her lip, quietly making up her mind.

        “Alright, alright,” Dahyun had responded hastily, giving in to her friend’s wishes. Who was she to deny them a once in a lifetime opportunity of throwing a summer party before school started back up again? She surveyed the hallway for anyone eavesdropping. “Let’s do it. How does this weekend sound?”

        A chorus of cheers and a round of applause erupted from all around Dahyun, and Chaeyoung tackled her into a hug. “That’s the Dahyun I know!” Yeri chuckled. “I’ll send out the invites!” Tzuyu offered, holding up her cell phone.

        The four of them walked towards the double doors leading outside of the building, chatting amongst themselves about the party, but Dahyun lagged behind. “You sure you’re okay?” Chaeyoung fell back in step with her, glancing at her friend with a look of concern.

        They had burst out into the parking lot, and were about to part ways into their separate cars. The last day of junior year had stretched out long enough, and Dahyun suddenly felt drained.

        Dahyun wanted nothing more than to slip into her bed and gorge herself on some well deserved junk food and a Netflix marathon. Together, the four idled in front of the main entrance of the building, waiting to say goodbye to each other.

        Dahyun put on her best smile, lips and eyes curling up into the grin, and nodded. “Just peachy,” she joked. Chaeyoung gave her another long look, signaling that she didn’t believe a word of Dahyun’s reassurance.

       For a second, Dahyun thought Chaeyoung would say more, that she had seen through her facade, but she merely returned Dahyun’s smile. “If you say so, Dahyun-ah.”

 

        Now, Dahyun wasn’t one to be fooled by the trickery of growing older all. She had always viewed life as an endless cycle that mankind had yet to figure out how to break free of.

        “Isn’t life funny?” Dahyun yelled to Tzuyu above the blasting music. The taller girl had appeared by her side out of nowhere with her own drink in hand, her outfit screaming seduction. Chaeyoung is one lucky girl, Dahyun thought to herself.

        Dahyun watches Tzuyu quirk an eyebrow in response, cuing the shorter girl to finish her thought. Humoring her, the taller girl bends down ever so slightly so she could hear better. “We spend our whole lives waiting for something better, disillusioned by others into thinking that growing older is a good thing,” Dahyun muses animatedly, slurring some of her words.

        “When truthfully, it’s just everyone hoping for better things. And when it’s too late to turn back, we realize that our fondest memories all truly belong in the past, when we were younger and carefree.”

        Tzuyu shoots Dahyun an odd look after she finishes talking, and leans in closer to her friend, furrowing her brows together. “Are you drunk already?” She jokingly asks the shorter girl with a laugh, though concern quickly takes over her dark brown eyes.

        “Or are you just thinking about becoming a Philosophy major next year? You sound like one of those professors in a K-Drama, Dahyun-ah.” Understanding that her friend had no idea of what she was talking about, Dahyun remained silent and merely downed the rest of her drink with a smile. She’d allow Tzuyu to think she was merely joking.

        It was better that way, Dahyun imagined. Less questions for Dahyun to answer to if her friends started to catch on. Dahyun was never one to admit her true thoughts and feelings towards the matter unless if there was some form of alcohol involved.

        That way, if she ever decided to confess how she really felt about growing older, Dahyun could always use being drunk as an excuse for her behavior. This wasn’t the first time she’d brought up the cycle of life with one of her best friends.

        “Maybe it’s a little bit of both,” Dahyun replies easily, maintaining her nonchalant yet witty attitude. In spite of how upbeat she managed to make her voice sound, defeat hammered hard at the inside of her ribcage.

        Was there really no one else who understood her fear of the future? Was she the only one terrified of what the passage of time could bring? Were any of her friends worried about seeing each other after graduation, after parting ways and heading to separate colleges?

        Tzuyu laughs softly, then winks at Dahyun before pulling the thin girl into a warm embrace. “Whatever you say, Dahyun-ah. I’ll see you later, yeah?” Her taller friend asks, holding Dahyun an arm’s length away after they part. In the low light of the room, Dahyun makes out what looks like worry lingering in the pools of Tzuyu’s eyes.

        In response, Dahyun dips her head weakly once and then Tzuyu’s whirling away from her, no doubt in search of her girlfriend. She looks on as the taller girl parts the sea of partygoers barring the way, headed in the direction of the open door leading down to the basement where a mosh pit had started.

         Dahyun remained rooted to the spot for a second more until she tilted her cup up to her lips and noticed that it was empty. The hostess of the party frowned to herself, disappointed. Alcohol. Yes, that’s what. She needed more booze. Her feet began shuffling across the floor in the direction of the kitchen.

        Contrary to what Yeri may say, Dahyun wasn’t born yesterday. She knew that no mortal could stop time. She understood that eventually, even if she didn’t want it to, time would escape her completely. It’s just that she wasn’t sure if she could handle that truth quite yet.

        She enjoyed the place she was in now, here in this point and time. High school held an abundance of freedom for the eighteen year old that college wouldn’t have, though she’d heard from her older peers that it was the exact opposite.

        Right now, Dahyun had everything going for her.

        She was in the top decile of her graduating class and had remained in that rank throughout her education career. Dahyun never ceasing to study to the best of her capabilities.

        Throughout her high school career, she spent many late nights in the twenty four hour cafés of her city, pouring over her textbooks and notes before exams.

        No doubt would she be doing the same thing this year, as well. The eighteen year old had never earned a grade below an A- before in her life, and she planned on keeping it that way.

        Not only was Dahyun gifted academically, the girl was also captain of her high school’s soccer team. She began when she was twelve years old and starting the eighth grade, keeping the position of midfielder.

        The sport was the perfect outlet for her to run off the abundance of energy she had when she was a kid. Ever since Dahyun graduated middle school, she had been notified numerous times by her coach that scouts were inquiring about her whenever they played championships.

        In three weeks, she’d be at another one of her team’s annual summer competitions in Seoul, where her coach assured her there would be hundreds of scouts on the lookout for talent like her.

        With her soccer talent came the possibility of a scholarship, which meant paying her way through college without taking out any loans. But did she even want to keep playing soccer? Was her heart still into it?

        Dahyun wasn’t so sure. That was her answer to a lot of things these days - she wasn’t sure anymore. Unlike before, uncertainty had crept through the cracks in Dahyun’s heart. Another road for her to possibly go down, another door yet to be opened.

        Not only was she a soccer player, the high schooler had been trying her hand at photography as well. She worked a few odd jobs here and there over the past couple summers, and with a little help from her parents, was able to buy herself a nice DSLR camera.

        Dahyun had been receiving excited feedback from her AP photography teacher about the possibility of attending a liberal arts school in the future since last year. Photography was a nice way to relieve stress, Dahyun thought, but could she make a career out of it? Did she even want to make it a career? Once again, Dahyun was clueless.

        In spite of all these different paths open to her, they would also simultaneously damped Dahyun’s mood. Both of her parents called these opportunities, “open doors”, and yet, Dahyun could feel each of the slowly and simultaneously inching shut. 

        She had absolutely no idea what she wanted to be yet, and that alone was enough to terrify her about college. Her mother once jokingly said that this was one of the boons of being a well rounded character: too many choices.

        This was one of the reasons why she felt so frightened at the mere mention of college. Everyone wanted to know where Dahyun was thinking of attending, what she planned on studying, where she wanted the future to take her.

        In truth, Dahyun felt her world was spinning out of control, that she was being whisked away from everything she had ever known and loved. But she had to keep on going, didn’t she?

        In an effort to push the looming responsibilities of senior year away, Dahyun had taken to drowning herself in her extracurricular activities and attending almost every party she could since junior year began winding down. It helped drown out some of the panic.

        For sure, Dahyun would rather stay frozen in time and live out the rest of her life her as a high school senior. At least as a senior, she knew the state of things were good and her future was filled with an endless abundance of promises.

        Unlike most of her friend’s parents, Mr. and Mrs. Kim let Dahyun have practically free reign over everything in her life. She was grateful they’d never pressured her into one career field or another, and that they had yet to broach the subject of college.

        At the same time, however, she almost wished they had stepped in and taken control in some shape or form. Maybe then she wouldn’t be hosting this party right now behind their backs. Maybe then she’d have a glimpse at what college could bring.

        Chaeyoung’s parents were pushing medical school on her, and she often heard the shorter girl speak about how much stress her parents gave her. Chaeyoung wanted to pursue a career as a freelance artist and was secretly planning to send in applications to liberal arts schools instead of giving in to her parent’s wishes.

        Tzuyu’s parents wanted her to follow their footsteps and become an engineer, but she resented both math and science (though her feelings towards the subjects didn’t reflect in her near perfect grade point average).

        She was also planning to rebel against their wishes alongside Chaeyoung, both fighting for their passions against the odds. Together, Dahyun knew the two of them could manage to be able to study what they truly loved. They could support each other, Dahyun believed in them.

        Dahyun knew if she were in the same situation at her friends, she’d crumble beneath her parent’s wishes and merely do whatever they told her to.

        Rather than ordering Dahyun’s career path, both her mother and father believed in letting their daughter figure out what she wanted to do instead.

        All the high schooler had figured out so far on her own was the fact that she wanted to get out of her small city and spend her days doing something worth living for.

        She’d go to Seoul, perhaps. Somewhere where she didn’t see someone she knew around nearly every street corner. She liked the idea of blending in with the crowd.

        Dahyun could feel the effects of the whirlwind of life around her every day. In brief moments of solace, the young girl would marvel at how fast everything was moving and shifting and transforming around her.

        After all, life lived and breathed in everything. She knew that the small moments that meant the world to her now, like peaceful camping trips in the mountains with friends and driving down to McDonald’s for midnight McFlurries with friends, would fade into the recess of her mind.

 

        With her coming of age, she feared leaving behind the fun and carefree times of her childhood and teen years.

 

        Would Dahyun still remember how to have a good time ten years from now?

 

        When she was twenty-seven instead of seventeen?

 

        Or would she be just as boring as the adults she knew in her own life, stuck with working for a living and raising a family to fruition?

 

        Dahyun sighed and poured herself another drink.

 

        This was going to be one hell of a night.

 

 


	2. Lover's Spit Left On Repeat

        Eventually, Dahyun knew she would become burdened with the responsibilities of adulthood. She would get a job to help shoulder the tuition for college and begin saving away to provide for herself in the future. That’s just the way the cookie crumbles in this world.

        You fend for yourself. You make something out of nothing. It’s just what needed to be done. Dahyun knew she would discover what her life’s work was meant to be. She knew she’d spend the rest of her life pursuing that passion. Her youthful glow would dim, the life would begin to seep out of her skin, and she would grow old.

        Sighing at the thoughts that haunted her, Dahyun carefully weaved her way around other partygoers until she found her way into the kitchen. A change of scenery would do her good, she hoped. Watching the jumble of bodies surrounding her had been making her feel a little queasy.

        She poured herself another drink, filling half of her cup with vodka before splashing in a touch of red Hawaiian Punch. Deep bass vibrations thrummed against the girl’s ribcage as she leaned against the counter and nursed her drink. 

        Someone had found the sound system in the basement and had their phone rigged up to it, blasting hip hop songs Dahyun didn’t know the words to. A familiar tingling sensation spread throughout her body as the liquid flowed through her veins.

        It hadn’t been her intention to get raging drunk tonight, but it looked like the events were unfolding that way. Not that it mattered, anyways. She was on summer vacation, her parents weren’t home, and she had yet to scope out another summer job for herself.

        Besides, she could always worry about her hangover later. Her sweeping eyes surveyed the throngs of familiar faces occupying her house party, noting how odd it was that every single one of them were connected in one way or another.

        Seongnam was small. Dahyun’s been to smaller places, tiny towns tucked into places no one hardly looked. This city was just the right size where Dahyun knew most of her classmate’s names from memory.

        She could recognize each by both face and name, had been to a few of their birthday parties when they were younger, even remembered funny stories about some of them from middle school.

        The hostess finds herself making her way upstairs with an unopened bottle of vodka in hand and her half empty cup in the other, seeking comfort in escaping to her own bedroom. At least up the staircase, the sound of the shaking bass lessened its steady boom.

        She passes by at least three couples engaging in heated make out sessions in the upstairs corridor. Thankfully, Dahyun had taken the precaution to lock up every room save for her own before the party began.

        It wasn’t that the hostess didn’t trust the party goers to not go into any of the closed off rooms, she just didn’t feel like cleaning up more of a mess in the morning than she had to. Tucking the bottle of vodka underneath her arm, Dahyun freezes in front of her door.

        It was slightly ajar, though dark inside. For a split second, she worried there might be someone inside of her room, cursing herself for forgetting to lock it back up after helping her friends set up everything downstairs. With a deep breath, Dahyun braced herself, and then pushed her way through the threshold.

        Nothing. Just as empty as she’d left it. Thank god. She wasn’t sure how she would’ve dealt with a couple rolling around in her sheets. Dahyun flicked the lock on the door, ensuring she wouldn’t be interrupted for the rest of the evening.

        Next, she slowly leans over the bed and flips on the lamp next to her bed. She settles down on the comfortable mattress with a sigh, staring up at the ceiling. She takes another swig of her drink, thinking over the muffled beats of the music pounding downstairs.

        Dahyun wondered if she should just go to bed now and worry about cleaning up tomorrow or not. She quirked her lips. Maybe she’d finish off the rest of her drink and help herself to a quarter of the Smirnoff first.

        She flopped over onto her bed and craned her neck to look at her alarm clock for the time. 10:59 PM. The night was just beginning, but Dahyun’s eyelids were already drooping shut.

        A hand goes to lift the hem of her shirt to get changed into her pajamas when she spots someone lingering outside her balcony, staring out at the night sky in silence.

        “What the hell...Sana?” Dahyun asks herself in a hushed whisper, unsure if her mind was playing tricks on her or not. She props herself up on one elbow to get a better look. The possibility of the older girl actually being there caused her to shoot up from her bedspread.

        With disbelief written across her features, the high schooler stepped towards the pair of French doors leading out onto the balcony hesitantly. The long, transparent curtains billowed in the warm breeze flowing in from outside.

        How had she not noticed the draft earlier? Her eyes fixated on the stranger, trying to make out their features in the low light. Sana had told Dahyun she wasn’t coming back to Seongnam for a few more weeks, tops. Apparently, the older girl stuck on her college campus in Seoul trying to move all of her stuff into a new apartment.

        The odds were much more in favor of the silhouette belonging to some drunk partygoer who’d wandered into Dahyun’s room by accident. Regardless, Dahyun allowed herself to hope. She always hoped when it came to Sana.

        “Unnie?” Dahyun tried, raising her voice, halting right behind the stranger. The night air warmed against her, but she felt her body temperature skyrocket even further when the person turned around, finally revealing their identity.

        With the moonlight shimmering over her, Dahyun thought to herself that Minatozaki Sana had never looked more beautiful. “You sure are a sight for sore eyes,” Dahyun breathed out, barely concealing the giggle that threatened to escape from her lips.

        “Thought you’d come by sooner or later,” Sana chuckled cheekily, running a hand through her light brown locks. Relief flooded through Dahyun, like she was coming back to shore after enduring a long storm. “How’d you know?” Dahyun asked, unable to keep herself from beaming.

        She’d been waiting impatiently for Sana’s arrival back from college and wasn’t sure how much longer she could go without seeing the older girl again. With the college girl here, so close and so heavenly, Dahyun almost pinched herself to see if she were dreaming.

        Sana leaned against the steel railing surrounding the balcony with a dazzling smile and tipped her own glass of wine towards the younger girl in a toast of sorts. “I remembered how you almost always come up for fresh air during a party.”

        Dahyun joined her in the act of leaning against the banister, and the knuckles of their hands brushing against each other as the younger girl clinked their cups together. Dahyun tried not to shiver at the simple touch. It had been far too long.

        Her whole heart and soul screamed for her to get closer to the older girl, to take Sana in her arms and kiss her until they both disappeared into the galaxy. “Something on your mind?” Sana asked knowingly, taking a small sip from her wine.

        She nudges Dahyun’s shoulder with her own, prompting the high schooler to speak her mind. “I know you didn’t come up for air for nothing.” Blushing, Dahyun shrugs, trying to breathe in the scent of Sana’s Prada perfume as discreetly as she could.

        It had been two years. She’d almost forgotten the scent of Sana’s trademark fragrance of an expensive Prada perfume. The pair stare out into the dim lights of Dahyun’s neighborhood, far off into the distance at the hints of downtown Seongnam dotting the horizon.

        A string of stars came into view when she craned her neck up. “I’ve always loved this view,” Dahyun sighs instead, evading the question. Sana followed suit, gazing up at the sky. She hummed in agreement, waiting patiently for the high schooler to truly open up.

        Dahyun knew could never hide anything from her. The older girl had a way of reading her thoughts and feelings as if she were an open book. She’d still managed to fend off the older girl’s prying before Sana left two years prior for university, but now that she’d been weakened by the distance and the time, things were different.

        “I’m fine,” Dahyun whispers, so softly that the breeze almost whisks away her words from Sana’s ears. “You know you don’t have to lie,” Sana says with a smile that sends Dahyun’s heart into a frenzy. “Not to me, at least.”

        Dahyun holds her tongue, trying to form the right words to a sentence she isn’t sure she can stomach to say. “I know for a fact that it drives you crazy…getting old,” Sana adds softly, delving into the depths of Dahyun’s secrets. “That’s what’s bothering you, isn’t it?”

        “How can you stand it?” Dahyun exclaims at last, her voice cracking with vulnerability. She waves a hand out into the open air, grasping at something she couldn’t see. “How can you take knowing that everything you’ve ever been and said and done will be lost forever? That in the blink of an eye, we’ll both be in our forties and still working towards retirement, where we’ll be too old to go do anything like travel anymore?”

        How she’d let her guard down so easily, she’ll never know. She blames it on the alcohol in the moment and her missing Sana so much that’s she’s nearly blinded by it. Her eyes fall onto the party spilling out onto her lawn and delving into the pool in the backyard. Her cheeks were alight and she felt deeply ashamed about her sudden outburst.

        It wasn’t like her to blow up in front of someone like Sana, who she cared so much about. “Everyone has to grow up,” Sana murmurs back simply. “You don’t have to like it, but it’s just what has to happen. It’s an eventuality no one can escape. It’s easier to embrace it rather than work against it, Dahyun-chan.”

        Dahyun tries to keep her face from twisting up with disappointment at Sana’s words.

        Out of everyone she’d befriended and trusted, she’d at least expected Sana of all people to understand, to comprehend why she was so afraid of moving forward. After all, they practically knew each other like the back of their hands, right?

        Before Dahyun has the chance to turn away and walk back inside her room, a finger finds its way beneath Dahyun’s chin, turning her face towards the older girl. “Trust me. I know what it’s like. I’ve been through this before,” Sana whispers, leaning in until she’s a hair’s breadth away from kissing Dahyun. “I can help you.”

        With her eyes struggling to focus on anything but the sight of Sana’s lips, Dahyun finds herself fumbling for an answer. The finger remains underneath her jaw, curling in place, and Dahyun swallows hard. “How?” She breathes out, concerned at how affected she was by the older girl.

        “Wanna go for a drive?” Sana asks, mischief twinkling in her eyes, stars glimmering in the darkness of her blown pupils. Dahyun surprises herself when she quickly downs the last of her drink and throws the cup over the balcony without a care in the world.

        She’d have more than enough time to pick it up later, when she woke up the next morning to clean away the evidence of the party. “Why not? Let’s go,” she says, taking Sana’s hand in her own. She needed to do this before the liquid courage wore off.

 

        “Will you miss me, unnie?” Dahyun nervously as she sits on the edge of Sana’s bed, watching the older girl packing up the last of her closet into her third luggage bag.

        Dahyun was supposed to have been helping Sana after she came home from school that day, but in the end, all she could manage to do was wordlessly point out which clothes Sana should take with her and which ones to leave behind.

        It took all of Dahyun’s whittling strength not to begin crying in front of Sana. The older girl was right there in front of her, but it felt like Sana had already left for her new dorm at the University of Seoul.

        It surprised Dahyun that as perceptive as Sana had always been to Dahyun’s feelings, the older girl had never caught on to the conflicting emotions bubbling underneath Dahyun’s calm cadence. She realized that Sana must’ve been too excited about moving out to realize, and that made the lump in her throat even harder to swallow down.

        “What kind of question is that?” Sana laughs wholeheartedly, looking up at the girl with a grin. Her long, light brown hair is tied up into a high ponytail and Dahyun thinks she looks ravishing even in her work out clothes.

        In fact, she would’ve kissed the other girl senseless had Sana not been so focused on packing. “Of course I’ll miss you, silly,” Sana replies, walking over to the younger girl. “I’ll be back during holidays and breaks, don’t worry.”

        Sana tilts Dahyun’s head back with the tip of her finger, eyes glued to the younger girl’s lips. She smirks when Dahyun can’t tear her eyes away from her mouth. A second later, she leans down to brush her lips against Dahyun’s in a chaste kiss. “ It’s not like I’m leaving forever. And we can always text or FaceTime if I can’t visit,” she whispers.

        Dahyun quirks one side of her mouth into a half frown while Sana turns her attention back to folding up her pile of shirts and blouses. She knew that Sana was right. This wouldn’t necessarily the end of their five years of friendship, so why did it feel like that? Still feeling disheartened, Dahyun hummed softly to herself.

       Comforting words didn’t make the pain of Sana leaving her lessen, especially not when they had just started to get somewhere with their relationship. Anything could happen in the next couple months that could prevent Sana from coming back home.

        Dahyun wasn’t as naive as she looked, she knew that Sana would have to work to pay for college, that it’d be more than just a hassle to return to Seongnam from Seoul. Sana turns to grab at a red woolen coat up off of the floor next to her.

        “Now then, should I take this one with me, too?” She asks, holding it up to the younger girl. Dahyun returned Sana’s smile weakly and gave her a sign of approval, though she could feel her heart sink lower and lower into the pit of her stomach.

        She loved Sana, she always had. Ever since she’d laid eyes on Sana, she’d felt inexplicably drawn to her. Perhaps it was because Dahyun had never had a neighbor her age before, what with her living in such a prestigious neighborhood.

        Most of the people she lived around were older than her own parents and she hardly ever saw them. The moment nine year old Dahyun heard she was getting a neighbor around the same age, she became overcome with anticipation.

        She waited in front of the newcomer’s house on her bike for any sign of the girl the second her parents told her that the new family had finally finished moved in. As she pedaled down the sidewalk, she noticed the large moving truck pulling away from the house’s driveway.

        “Excuse me, what are you doing?” A young girl’s voice rang out from behind her, loud and clear like a ringing bell. Dahyun had been too busy squinting at the extravagant home to hear the other girl approach. She’d been trying to spot any sign of life from its numerous windows with no avail.

        Dahyun whirled around in her bike’s seat to be confronted by a shorter girl, who had her arms crossed against her chest. “Are you the new girl on the block?” Dahyun asked instead, sizing the girl up. “Are you the one who just moved in?” The other girl was undeniably pretty, prettier than any other girl Dahyun had seen, in fact.

        The new girl had her light brown hair up in a loose ponytail and was wearing a black t-shirt and a pair of blue jeans with white tennis shoes. Unlike Dahyun’s tattered outfit, the new girl’s clothes were almost immaculate. The whites of her kicks nearly blinded Dahyun when she glanced at them, so she focused on the ripples of her golden irises instead.

        “I guess that’s me,” came the shy response. Dahyun grinned then, and stuck her hand out for a handshake, leaning over the handlebars of her bike. “Kim Dahyun, nice to meet you, new girl.” She’d already made it her life’s mission to befriend the older girl who had given her an odd look. Luckily, the new girl had returned her handshake all the same.

         “Minatozaki Sana,” came the response. Dahyun clearly remembers thinking to herself how Sana’s smile was the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen. They’d been through everything together, from broken relationships to the stress of school.

        All they had to do was walk a few houses down in order to be in each other’s company. Dahyun thinks it’s rather cliché for her to have fallen in love with one of her next door neighbors, but at the same time the feelings she had for the older girl were so vibrant, she could care less what anyone else thought.

       Dahyun hated to see Sana leave, to know that Sana wasn’t going to be around anymore. She’d been dreading this moment for months. But Dahyun wasn’t naïve enough to ask the older girl to stay at home for college just so they could still be close to each other.

        She could never be selfish when it came to Sana. The older girl deserved to get out of Seongnam. She had been accepted into a number of local universities but in the end, the older girl had decided to attend one of the most prestigious schools that their country had to offer, and she deserved it.

        Dahyun knew Sana would have a much brighter future ahead of her in Seoul than if she stayed in their small hometown. How could she not let Sana go? Even if the older girl was the primary source of her own happiness, shouldn’t she let her follow her dreams? Sacrifice was a part of loving someone, wasn’t it?

        She’d gotten nine long years of Sana by her side, and five years of slipping into romance. They’d had years of holding hands, stealing kisses from each other when no one was looking, countless dates. Wasn’t that enough?

        This was just one step into the future, it was going to have to happen eventually. In the end, Dahyun helped Sana line up her luggage downstairs before they crawled into Sana’s bed and went to sleep in each other’s arms for the last time before Sana left.

        Over time, nine years proved not to be enough. Though she’d vowed never to be greedy with Sana, Dahyun longed to see the beautiful girl every day. Sana regularly called her to talk over the phone or FaceTime her whenever she found the time to, but that still felt like breadcrumbs compared to what they had.

        Dahyun thought that Sana looked much too happy telling her all about college to bring up the fact that she was drowning in heartbreak without her, so she never did.

 

        But now that was all over and done with. Sana was here in Dahyun’s present rather than living out parts of the past. What a way to kick off this year’s summer break.


	3. Reeling Through The Midnight Streets

        

        Sana’s leading them towards the back door of Dahyun’s house at top speed. After hearing the younger girl’s confirmation to her offer, Sana had practically jumped up and dragged Dahyun out of the room.

        Dahyun hoped Sana couldn’t feel the way her fingers were trembling in her grip. Though if Sana didn’t feel it, she was sure the older girl must’ve seen how nervous Dahyun felt while she fumbled with the key and lock of her bedroom door.

        Together, they fly down the staircase, nearly knocking into the couples kissing in the corridor. Now that they’re out in the open, Dahyun can hear the familiar sound of heavy bass beats from the basement. There’s a symphony of people’s voices chattering all around them, but Dahyun’s honed into one person only.

        Their hands are tightly intertwined and Dahyun’s heart flutters within her chest as if she’s going through an overdose. Briefly, Dahyun thinks she sees Chaeyoung and Yeri chatting in the middle of her living roof. She almost wants to stop and say hello, but Sana pulls her in the opposite direction before she even gets the chance to tell her friends where she’s going.

        That’s okay, Dahyun thinks to herself, they probably think I’m passed out on my bed by now. I can text them later and tell them what’s going on. She’d rather spend the night with Sana, anyways. It’d been far too long since they’d been able to see each other, and she’d be lying if she said she were over her childhood crush.

        For right now, she had an infinite amount of time with her high school friends. For all she knew, Sana could be leaving in the morning. The two girls walk side by side on the pavement outside, hands still locked together as the make their way along the familiar path towards Sana’s house. The younger girl notices that each of the windows of the Minatozaki household are pitch black, and gives Sana a quizzical look.

        “I just got into town about an hour ago,” Sana smiles, pulling her car keys out of her pocket. “My parents were fast asleep when I arrived, and I didn’t want to wake them up so I headed over to your place. It seemed pretty…lit.” Dahyun choses to shrug at Sana’s remark. “You know better than I do there’s nothing much to do around here, Sana-chan,” she chuckles.

        “My parents are out of town and the girls wanted to celebrate the beginning of senior year with a bang.” Sana giggles, “Okay, okay, you’re right. It’s not like my roommates and I didn’t host a party or two during break.” With two clicks on the tiny handheld device in her palm, Dahyun’s attention is brought to the sleek sedan parked in front of the house.

        “A BMW?” The younger girl muses, impressed by her friend’s taste as she reaches for the door handle. “Don’t worry,” Sana says as she climbs into the low lying sports car, blushing. “It’s more than a few years old, if that’s what you’re thinking.  Nothing special.” Dahyun rolls her eyes playfully, buckling her seatbelt. “Whatever you say, Sana-chan.”

        Soon, they’re soaring down a stretch of illuminated road. All of the windows of the car are down, and though Dahyun’s aware her hair must look like a tangled, matted mess, she laughs with pure and utter delight. It’s been a while since she’d felt the rush of being carefree that wasn’t tinted with the stench of sweating bodies and the aftertaste of liquor on her tongue.

        In the midst of it all, Sana blasted one of their favorite songs from when Sana was still going to Dahyun’s high school. The high school senior turned in her seat and looked over at Sana with an unbelieving expression. “Hey! You remember this song, right?” Sana shouted above the roar of the wind, beaming over at Dahyun as she steered the vehicle.

        “How could I ever forget?” The younger girl yelled back, whooping her approval into the night air. Laughter burst throughout the cabin of the car as Dahyun turned the stereo nearly all the way up. Ribs by Lorde began blasting through the speakers with its slow build of up synths.

        Dahyun burned with anticipation. On the dash of the car, she noticed that the time had hit just after twelve o’clock. Just as the song described, the girls were streaking down midnight streets, and Dahyun was ever troubled by her greatest fear. The heavy bass line of the song matched up with the pounding of Dahyun’s heart, gradually building up into a faster tempo. Dahyun’s head lolled back against the headrest of her seat.

        As the song built up, Sana reached over and held her hand, pressed up against the top of her thigh. Dahyun cracked her eyes open ever so slightly and smiled, curling her fingers against the top of the older girl’s knuckles. The action reminded herself that she should be more invested in the present than the thoughts swirling around in her head.

        After all, she had no idea when Sana would be leaving. Hell, the college girl could only be spending the weekend here before going back to Seoul. Not wanting this to be another moment she’d regret missing out on, Dahyun forced her ever impending thoughts of the future out of her head and got a grip on reality.

        She bobbed her head along to the music as she sang along, watching as Sana smiled and did the same, the wind whipping both of their hair around as they raced against the night. When the beat drops, Sana lets go of Dahyun. With one hand on the wheel, Sana twirls the other in the air, moving along to the beat of Lorde’s music.

        “I haven’t listened to this song in a long time!” Dahyun shouts gleefully, jamming to the song. Sana lets out a loud laugh as Dahyun breaks out into as much of a dance as she could possibly muster while sitting down. Lost in the ambiance of the music, Dahyun tilts her head back as she dances. She stares up at the open sunroof, watching the universe rush by her.

        Everything about the song was exactly like what she was experiencing. Here she was, driving down the deserted highway, with the one person she couldn’t live without, with the thought of growing older haunting her. “It drives you crazy, getting old,” Dahyun sang along to the lyrics, wondering just how Lorde had pinned her teenaged fears into one song perfectly.

        Bobbing her head along to the music as she joined in with Dahyun, Sana carefully watches the younger girl out of the corner of her eye. In her mind, she can barely imagine two years have passed since she’s been back to visit, it almost feels like no time has passed. A part of her feels guilty for leaving Dahyun alone, that she hadn’t been able to visit home in so long.

        Truthfully, there was nothing in Sana’s power that could have been done about the matter. College kept her busy enough, what with juggling a part time job and her studies and something akin to a social life. Plus, her apartment was more than half an hour’s drive away from Seongnam, without traffic. Time never seemed to move so fast, Sana could hardly believe that the last time she’d stepped foot in Seongnam was two years ago.

        During the seasonal holidays, Sana would stay at her apartment and work to save up money to pay for her tuition. While her parents were in fact helping her, Sana knew that they only had a certain amount saved up for her before she’d have to pay the rest.

        For the entire semester prior, Sana believed she’d be spending this summer like she had the last. Which meant working tirelessly at her part time job as a waitress at an upper middle class restaurant in downtown Seoul, picking up extra shifts whenever she could, and coming home tired and smelling like the restaurant’s signature beef dishes.

        The moment she realized she had free time on her hands, Sana packed a bag for the summer and told her parents she was on her way home. She was ecstatic to be spending time with Dahyun again, just like old times. The way she saw it, she could always work during the semester, like she had. Last summer’s payload gave her somewhat of an extra cushion.

        Besides, the younger girl had some kind of hold on Sana, a power no one else wielded over her heart. After constantly keeping in touch with each other, neither one of them had grown too much apart in the two year gap they’d had. Or at least, that’s what Sana hoped.

        Sana still loved Dahyun, loved her so much that she couldn’t bear to get into the dating scene even after she left for Seoul. Her friends questioned her choice to be single constantly, but Sana knew none of them would understand, so she never spoke a word about Dahyun to them.

        There was quite a stark difference between seeing Dahyun on the screen of her phone late at night or on her laptop than being here in the flesh beside her. No amount of FaceTime or texting could compare to the real thing. For starters, Dahyun seemed to have grown up even more than the devices had allowed Sana to see.

        Dahyun’s jawline had been refined, a chiseled line sloping down to her slender neck. Her hair had grown longer, the thick strands of pitch black against the fabric of her white V-neck shirt. She was as pale as Sana remembered, but she was also more solemn...and beautiful.

        Sensing Sana staring, Dahyun glanced at the older girl as the song faded away. “What’s up? Keep those eyes on the road, yeah?” The younger girl quipped, reaching for Sana’s phone from the center console to take control of the aux cord.

        Sana sighed and smiled, content with watching the girl she’d known and loved for so long, who’d grown up so much, swiping through her phone for more songs to play. “Nothing, just happy I’m finally back home with you.”

        Dahyun blushed, hitting the replay button on Ribs, playing the cherished song for a second time. “I’m glad you’re back, Sana-chan,” the younger girl confessed, allowing her eyes to trace over Sana’s face. In the beams of luminescent street light, Sana’s lips glittered like water, and Dahyun found herself quite parched.

        She glanced up to find a knowing smile decorating Sana’s features. Swallowing, she turned away from the obvious tension between them, not wanting to spoil the moment with the act of stealing a kiss. As if nothing passed between them, the two began jamming once more.

        Sana was going to savor every moment of this night, as well as the next day and the day after that, and so on and so forth until she had to go back to Seoul. Dahyun needed her now more than ever, and Sana wasn’t planning on going anywhere. Here is where she belonged.

        Here, in this place and time, roaring down the freeway with the wind whipping at her hair and Dahyun’s smile glinting in the streetlights, was where she knew she needed to be. A brand new song booms through the sound system of the vehicle once Ribs finishes playing, and Sana’s smile grows even wider.

 

**

 

        They sit quietly in the driveway of Sana’s house, neither of them making a move to get out of the vehicle and part ways for the night. On the dash, the time blinks back at them. Nearly one in the morning, and neither of them even felt the tiniest bit tired.

        The lights have long gone out in Dahyun’s house, no doubt the party had been broken up. Dahyun thought to herself that if she did happen to come across a couple of people passed out while making her way up to her bedroom, she’d just leave them be.

        Better to have them wake up in the morning and scrambling to get back home with embarrassment than shooing them away in their half drunken state. Dahyun could tell the older girl was studying her closely, trying to decipher her mood.

        Sana must’ve finally figured out knew what’s getting at her, Dahyun guessed. “We’ll laugh until our ribs get tough,” Sana murmurs, trying to ease the other girl’s distress with the lyrics they’d been screaming minutes before.

        “But that will never be enough,” Dahyun replies softly, tracing a finger over the thick layer of condensation coating the car window. With her index finger, she draws out a happy face, then wipes the glass clean. Sana sees right through her, as she always does.

        “Maybe it’s not,” Sana replies, gripping her hands a little tighter on the steering wheel. “In fact, every second we spend here on this earth, we’re growing older.” There’s a beat of silence, but Dahyun knows better to speak up. A hand rests against the warmth of Dahyun’s thigh and without thinking, the high schooler rests her own palm over Sana’s, drinking in the comfort the older girl gives her.

        There’s nothing like being reassured by the one person on the face of the earth who had the power to make everything right again. Dahyun’s fingers are trembling ever so slightly as they rest on the gentle warmth of the back of Sana’s hand. “But we’re growing old together, and I think that’s what you should care about the most, Dahyun-chan.”

        The college girl reaches over the center console of the car and takes one of Dahyun’s hands into her lap and Dahyun can’t help but smile. Their fingers curl together, warm and safe and soft. Dahyun watches Sana in the light of the night, her face illuminated by the orange of her car’s dash. Suddenly, Dahyun’s struck with the urge to kiss Sana again.

        She can’t help but think about how beautiful Sana is, how she’d selfishly give up anything to just have this moment alone with Sana just a tiny bit longer. Dahyun wasn’t sure if she’d be able to see Sana again after this summer, if she’d even be able to get into a college in Seoul, another added reason to her list of fearing growing old.

        Sana was incredibly smart, despite what others might think of her typically aloof and ditsy personality. There was another side to her that she showed only if she trusted you enough to let down her guard. Sana could be incredibly witty, quick on her feet to think up of answers to problems that Dahyun struggled with.

        The older girl’s academic ability was no joke, and in the end, it earned Sana a position at one of Seoul’s top schools for her hard work. On the other hand, while Dahyun wasn’t too shabby in school, she wasn’t confident enough to think she’d be able to apply to the same university as Sana.

        Her grades were decent enough for her to have an assured future at a good level university, that was a given. But the thing was, Dahyun didn’t want just any university. She wanted to ace her entrance exam into University of Seoul, where Sana was attending.

        Everything was held in balance, but it wouldn’t be for much longer. The clock was ticking, and Dahyun didn’t know how to say any of these things to the older girl. How could she explain the main reason why she feared the future was because of the possibility of losing Sana? How could she explain why she didn’t want to move on?

        Tears began to prick at the corners of her vision, and she forced herself to look outside the window. Weakness was not something Dahyun embraced easily, although she was sensitive in nature. She sighed. “I guess you’re right about that,” she mumbles, loosening her grip on the older girl’s hand. “Goodnight, Sana-chan.” Just as she moves to undo her seatbelt, Sana reaches over and stops her.

        Dahyun turns to look at her, her confused expression melting into a look of surprise when she realizes just how close Sana’s face is to hers. Light brown eyes bore into her, searching for something as she inches closer to the younger girl. Dahyun’s eyes dart down to the older girl’s parted lips as they approach hers, tears long forgotten.

        “Aren’t you going to invite me home, Dahyun?” Sana whispers, each husky syllable sending shivers down Dahyun’s spine. Oh shit. “You want to come over?” Dahyun chokes out, eyes wide with shock. Sana giggles, shaking off any of the dirty implications the younger girl had begun imagining.

        “Of course I do! It’s been years since we’ve had a proper sleepover, hasn’t it?” Sana says excitedly, taking her keys smoothly out of the ignition. “We can catch up in the morning over breakfast,” she smiles. In an instant, Dahyun watches as Sana unlocks her door and swings it open, taking a step out into the inky darkness.

        “Come on, let’s go! I could use a shower after traveling all day!” Sana whines, helping Dahyun out of the car. “Alright, alright,” Dahyun mumbles, still unsure of herself. Sana presses against her with a smile illuminated only by the streetlights, arms intertwined as they head in the direction of Dahyun’s house.

 

 


	4. We Can Make It So Divine

 

 

        This wasn’t one of the ways Dahyun imagined she’d be making up for lost time, but she’s nowhere near protesting against where this is headed. During the car ride, she’d imagined catching up with Sana over cups of coffee, perhaps a meal or two, maybe even coming around her family’s house once in a while.

        But not this. Dahyun hadn’t been expecting this. After stumbling back into the younger girl’s dark, unlit house, the pair made their way through the party trashed surroundings with caution, careful not to slip on the silvery party streamers littered on the carpet.

        Dahyun allows Sana to lead her up the stairwell, grasping at her hand as they ascended each step. For a moment, Dahyun takes a look around, squinting at the shadowy surroundings she would no doubt have to clean up the next morning.

        Their shoes disrupt the spilled, crumpled red solo cups littering the floor and send scattered potato chips crunching underfoot. Flashes of the past came rushing back to Dahyun as they went along, bits and pieces of her and Sana’s relationship before the older girl left for college filled her mind.

        Love was quite a strong word for a middle schooler to use, but that was the best way Dahyun could use to describe the way she felt about Sana, all those years ago. After their first fateful meeting, the two became attached at the hip, nearly impossible to separate.

        Wherever Dahyun went, Sana wasn’t far behind. Together they grew up. They frantically pedaled their bikes up and down the block, racing each other to see who could make it back to their houses first.

        They walked around the neighborhood hand in hand, pretending they were famous performers walking across a lit stage. They splashed around in Sana’s pool over summer break, basking beneath the radiant rays of the sun.

        Then, together and much later, they fell in love. Dahyun became old enough to realize the feelings she had for Sana were different from the ones she had for anyone else. She didn’t feel that way about Tzuyu or Chaeyoung or Yeri, or any boy, for that matter.

        Dahyun doesn’t remember when they both acknowledged their mutual feelings, but she knows they did at some point in their youth. To her, it felt like they’d been in love the entire time and merely lapsed into it without noticing too much of a difference.

        That’s how easy and natural their relationship came to them. Their ages were a mere two years apart, which at first neither of them noticed after they became a couple. As they grew older, however, the gap was something that had to be acknowledged.

        When Dahyun was a freshman, Sana would be a junior in high school. By then, they’d spent nearly a decade being by each other’s sides, through thick and thin, the worst of puberty’s hormones and more of it to come. They knew everything about each other, they could read the other without even saying a word.

        Once Dahyun’s freshman year let out for the summer, she could feel their dynamic shift. Sana was going to be a senior next year and had already started looking into colleges. She was already beginning to look towards the future, and Dahyun did her best to see it with her.

        But just as she always had, the younger girl felt too caught up in the moment to think about anything else down the line other than the here and the now. Subconsciously, she pushed away the idea that Sana wasn’t going to be by her side forever and clung to every moment she could while it lasted.

        Every time they hung out, Sana would be itching to get back to writing college essays or studying for her placement exams. Not wanting to feel like a burden, Dahyun remained behind the sidelines and urged Sana to continue working towards her goals in Seoul.

        She understood the gravity of what senior year meant, to a degree. In order to spend more time together, she would accompany Sana during college campus tours whenever she had time off work. The couple held hands as they lingered a little behind their tour guide, pointing out interesting things to each other in hushed whispers.

        They’d lounge about the campus commons on the large grass lawns as if they were actual students relaxing after summer classes, feasting on take out from one of the campus restaurants. It felt like they were already in college, that they had already made it – together.

        Dahyun remembers those days well, when her fear of the future had been somewhat staved off by Sana’s radiant smile. Somehow, the word _college_ sounded fun and exciting when it came from Sana’s mouth. Back then, it had sounded like something Dahyun wanted to experience, but only with her girlfriend by her side.

        Whenever Sana wanted to research colleges and majors, the two would frequent local coffee shops for little study dates. Dahyun would pretend to go through her summer reading assignments for her English classes as she sipped at her ice coffee, cautiously peeking over Sana’s laptop every now and then to gauge the older girl’s expression.

        Dahyun was always there to soothe Sana whenever the older girl felt frazzled over the stress of applying, which was more often than not the case. Once everything calmed back down, and returned to normal again, Sana would tell her about some new program a college offered with such joy in her eyes that Dahyun couldn’t help but feel the same.

        All of it nearly went over Dahyun’s head – the majors, the minors, tuition, scholarships. Dahyun was only fifteen, going on sixteen, at the time of Sana’s senior year. Her girlfriend was the first to really go in depth with her about the whole college experience, opening Dahyun’s eyes a little more to the world around her.

        As the summer days dwindled away and the upcoming school year dawned on them, Dahyun found herself growing a little more distant from Sana. It became harder than ever for the two of them to line up their schedules and spend time together once the semester started.

        Among various things, Sana was a member of Model UN and was the Honors Society Class President, as well as her class’s Student Government Vice President. While simultaneously managing all of these extracurricular activities, the high school senior also held down a part time job at a local diner.

        Sana’s day consisted of typically running from meetings back to back before heading out for her closing shift at the diner. This left Dahyun with only a few fleeting moments in the hallways of their high school and forty-five minutes during lunch.

        Sometimes she would swing by the diner for carry out just to see Sana during her break. It was difficult not for Dahyun to not grit her teeth with jealousy when she noticed guys checking out Sana while she took people’s orders, but she managed. Sana always made her jealousy and anger melt away, as if she were the magical cure to all of Dahyun’s ailments.

        Around the same time, Dahyun was discovering she needed to devote more of her time into refining her soccer moves and her photography skills if she wanted to keep up with her peers. She knew she needed to become more serious about the career options she was considering, and decided to try and put as much effort as she could in each direction.

        They still loved each other, madly, but without spending much time together, the distance began to grow. At one point, they didn’t see each other for weeks on end, even though they were next door neighbors. The phone calls, texting, and FaceTime calls helped immensely once Sana left, but two years was still a long time.

        Two years was seven hundred and thirty days without each other, without caressing each other’s skin or smoothing down bedridden hair or kissing each other’s lips. Being this close to Sana again was fogging up Dahyun’s brain and short circuiting it.

        The older girl was affecting her so much that Dahyun could barely think to pull out the keys to her room when they stopped in front of her bedroom door. Sana looked on, a curious look on her face, as Dahyun continued to zone out.

        Back when there was still a party going on downstairs and Dahyun had been drunk, being with Sana felt like second nature. Riding in the passenger seat of Sana’s car was even more comforting, as it was an activity they used to do often when Sana was still around. It felt like old times, like Sana had never left in the first place.

        But now that everything had worn off and Dahyun had gotten some time to think, she was left wondering about what they were all over again. Could she kiss Sana? Was that allowed still? Would Sana reject her if she tried?

        What if she had someone back in Seoul waiting for her? _That_ question made her wince. There was no doubt in Dahyun’s mind that Sana could’ve had numerous lovers while in Seoul. Sana looked even more ravishing than she had ever seen her. Who’s to say that she hadn’t had relationships after her?

        The problem was that the girls had never quite officially broken up before Sana left, and neither one of them said anything about it in the two years they’d been apart. Dahyun internally groaned. They definitely had a lot to talk about in the morning, perhaps even throughout the entirety of summer break, even.

        “Hey, you alright in there?” Sana called out softly, looking on as Dahyun dug her free hand into her jeans pocket. She playfully tapped her index finger on Dahyun’s forehead. Snapping out of it, Dahyun hummed, letting go of Sana’s soft grip to turn the doorknob.

        “I’m good,” Dahyun murmured, her nervous laughter ringing through the air. She swung the door open and gestured with her hand for Sana to enter. “After you.”

        Her subtle smile hid how nervous she felt about being alone with Sana again. The older girl waltzed past her and into the room, sending another wave of Prada perfume over her. She followed Sana inside and closed the door behind them, locking it in case there were any stragglers left downstairs.

        Sana instantly flopped face down on the bed with a sigh, spreading out each of her limbs like a starfish. “Oh my god, _finally,_ ” Sana said, her voice muffled by Dahyun’s mattress. The younger girl giggled at Sana as she made her way to one of her dressers, ready to pick out a change of clothes for Sana to use for pajamas.

        “I thought you said you wanted a shower, Sana-chan?” Dahyun teased as she rummaged around in the drawers. Sana huffed loudly into one of Dahyun’s pillows, causing the younger girl to smile. There was the rustling of the bed covers moving, and then silence.

        Dahyun felt Sana’s eyes on her back as she pulled out a shirt for Sana to wear, coupled with one of Dahyun’s favorite pairs of joggers. She studied the clothing for a second, picking off any hint of lint on the fabric. “Maybe I changed my mind about what I want tonight,” Sana murmured in a low tone.

        Her voice was dark and full of something familiar Dahyun hadn’t heard in a long, long time. Dahyun froze, back still facing Sana and the palms of her hands hovering over the shut drawers. She remembered that voice, had longed for it, in fact.

        The last time Dahyun had heard that tone from Sana was the night before Sana was meant to leave for Seoul, during their last sleep over together. The sound of it sent shocks down her spine. Her heart began to race within her chest, threatening to pump out of her ribcage.

        She felt a rush of heat travel down from the blush of her cheeks to the pit of her stomach. There was another rustling sound from the bed. Dahyun felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. “Dahyun-ah?” There came another rustle, and then the padding of muted footsteps against the plush carpet.

        She felt a pair of strong, lean arms encircle her waist, gently taking the clothes out of her grip and placing them on top of the dresser. Dahyun’s body melted against Sana, unconsciously pressing her back against the older girl in order to feel her just a tiny bit closer.

        Dahyun let her hands drop to her sides, fingers brushing against the silky skin of Sana’s exposed thighs as they dangled in the air. The older girl began placing tiny, fluttering kisses against the side of Dahyun’s neck, her fingers smoothing out the creases of Dahyun’s shirt. “What if I want… _you_?”

          _Fuck it._

        Dahyun spun around, placing her hands on either side of Sana’s bare waist. The sounds she’d heard while her back had been turned were Sana undressing, throwing her clothes in a small pile at the foot of Dahyun’s bed. Her thumbs dipped just below Sana’s protruding hip bones, teasing at the hem of Sana’s black lace panties.

        Trailing her eyes up and down, Dahyun felt her throat drying up with want. The older girl was even more stunning than she had remembered, as she’d imagined. Sana’s body was made up of curve after curve of toned and smooth skin, just begging to be touched and worshipped.

        There was even a set of defined lines separating Sana’s abdominal muscles, and Dahyun couldn’t help but drag an experimental finger down it. Sana gasped at the younger girl’s touch, muscles clenching together at the ticklish sensation.

        The chiseled lines stood out in the dim lamplight of the room, causing Dahyun to clench her jaw together. Gently, she raked her fingernails against Sana’s skin again, mesmerized as Sana crumbled beneath her touch. There was no going back now, Dahyun was all in.

        “Sana,” Dahyun breathed, trailing her gaze slowly upwards, appreciating everything before her. When she finally met Sana’s scalding stare, she had backed both of them up until they were collapsed on top of Dahyun’s bed. Hovering over the older girl, Dahyun took another moment to appreciate Sana after so long.

        She felt Sana’s legs wrap around her waist as she bowed her head down to kiss the older girl again. “God, you’re so heavenly,” Dahyun sighed out as she made her way down Sana’s throat, running her hands greedily over black lace and ivory skin. “I missed you so much,” Dahyun whispered as she went.

        Sana’s fingers threaded through her hair, dragging her closer, pressing their bodies flush against each other. When Dahyun bit gently at the skin just below Sana’s jaw, she heard the older girl moan quietly. “Dahyun.” _That’s it._ She felt the rough scrape of Sana’s nails dragging down the fabric of her shirt, sending another wave of heat rolling over her. _More._

        “Take this off,” Sana gasped, pushing her away ever so slightly. Dahyun propped herself up with both hands on either side of Sana’s fanned out hair, gulping when she noticed the way Sana’s eyes had darkened. The older girl’s pupils were blown wide, and Dahyun could see a reflection of herself drowning in the pools of her eyes.

        “Please, Dahyun.” Sana tugged at the hem of Dahyun’s shirt with lazy fingers. The sound of her begging sent Dahyun reeling with want. Her voice was so soft, so smooth, so _hypnotizing_ , so _needy._ It drove Dahyun wild. “Take this off for me.”

        Dahyun sat up, slowly dragging the fabric of her shirt off, revealing her pale torso. As she did so, she felt Sana move with her. The older girl had propped up on her knees and was placing gentle kisses on every inch of skin as it became uncovered.

        Throwing her shirt off to the side, Dahyun was met with Sana leaning up to crush their lips together. Unlike how most of their previous kisses were, short and sweet, _this_ kiss was filled with something that set both their minds and bodies on fire.

        Dahyun felt like she was in a trance, too occupied with Sana’s mouth to realize that the older girl had flipped their positions until her back came in contact with the mattress. She involuntarily groaned as Sana pressed against her, slipping her tongue into her mouth.

        Dahyun relished in the taste of the older girl. She had just a hint of cherry lingering on the tip of her tongue when Sana pulled away to kiss at the column of her neck. Feeling the way Sana urgently suckled on her skin, Dahyun smiled breathlessly.

        If she’s being honest, Dahyun hadn’t seen anyone since Sana left. She hadn’t been touched by anyone but Sana, which made her even more sensitive to the ministrations of the older girl. Blinking rapidly, Dahyun concentrated on trying to control the moans escaping from her parted lips.

        As Sana left a trail of hickeys down Dahyun’s skin, her hands worked at the button of Dahyun’s denim shorts. “Off,” Sana murmured into her ear before nibbling gently along the younger girl’s jawline. Dahyun got the message and swiftly tugged the offending item of clothing down, kicking them off the side of the bed.

        “Good girl,” Sana breathed out before molding their mouths together. Her hands fiddled with the front clasp of Dahyun’s bra. A moment later, Sana’s expertly unhinged it, rubbing one of Dahyun’s erect nipples in between her fingers.

        “Fuck,” Dahyun moans, lifting her hips at the sensation. Now it’s her turn to squirm beneath Sana, fingernails digging into Sana’s shoulder blades as stars litter her vision.

        Sana smirks as she uses the other hand to gently knead at Dahyun’s left breast, flicking her tongue out against the hard, pink nipple. “Sana,” Dahyun whispers, eyes screwed shut as she tries to process everything at once. “Yes?” Sana’s fingers let go of Dahyun’s nipple and is trailing down her torso, inching closer and closer to Dahyun’s panties.

        Dahyun loses her train of thought for a second when Sana sucks on her other nipple, choking at the sensation. Sana’s fingernails rake at the tender flesh of Dahyun’s inner thigh. “Yes, Dahyun?” Sana repeats, clearly enjoying the way Dahyun was falling apart beneath her. Dahyun knew that the older girl wanted her to voice her needs aloud, but it was hard to get the words out when Sana kept touching her.

        She grabbed at the hand creeping up her thigh and placed it against her throbbing core. Her eyes fly open when Sana curls her fingers against her, “Sana, _please_.” Instantly, Sana releases the nipple caught between her teeth and begins kissing down Dahyun’s front.

        She pays special attention to the ripples of Dahyun’s abs, her other hand dipping beneath Dahyun’s soaking panties. A smirk tugs at Sana’s lips when the younger girl gasps out her name.

        Dahyun is helpless as she stares up at the girl hovering over her, mouth parted but no words coming out. She can do nothing but tangle her fingers tighter in Sana’s hair and whisper her name out loud like a prayer.


	5. We Can Talk It Good

        Dahyun wakes up the next morning to sunlight streaming in from the balcony and the scent of freshly cooked bacon wafting through the air.

        The balcony doors on the other side of the room are wide open with the translucent curtains are drawn over the entrance, waving gently at her in the morning breeze. Peering out from beneath the sheets, she hazily makes out Sana’s figure leaning against the railing with a cup of steaming coffee, staring off into the distance.

        Dahyun smiles, stretching her sore limbs out beneath the sheets of the bed as she fights away the urge to roll back over and fall asleep again. Her pillows and sheets and skin smelled like Sana’s perfume, and she nuzzled closer to the mouthwatering scent, burrowing in the comfort the older girl gave her.

        Deep down, Dahyun felt giddy that Sana hadn’t left in the middle of the night to return back to her own house. Not that she had been expecting the older girl to leave her in bed, of course. It felt nice to have Sana home with her again. More than nice, in fact. It almost felt like everything was right again in the world.

        She could imagine a life with Sana unfolding just like this. In fact, she longed to have a future with Sana. She imagined a time where she could wake up to the pleasant scent of the older girl engulfing her, where there was breakfast waiting for her downstairs, where she could grow and live and breathe with Sana by her side each step of the way.

        Sana was right last night when she said Dahyun should think more about them becoming old together. The older girl still possessed the ability to make something as daunting as the future turn into something Dahyun yearned for.

        A ripple of satisfaction spread throughout Dahyun’s body. At that moment, she felt more content than she had in months. Not a single worry crossed her mind as she listened to the cheerful choir of the birds as they flitted around the trees, breathed in the mixture of bacon and Prada, soaking in the warmth of the bedsheets.

        Last night had been amazing. She’d gotten more sleep than she usually would’ve, comfortable up in Sana’s toned arms. Nearly the second Dahyun had returned the favor to the older girl, the pair curled up against each other and promptly fell asleep.

        After another moment of basking in the morning glow, Dahyun props herself up against the pillows and began to move to get out of bed. She’d been deprived of morning kisses from Sana for two years, and she wasn’t about to miss an opportunity like this again.

        She almost forgot the fact she was still stark naked until the sheets slipped off of her chest and she felt the breeze against her bare skin. Hastily, Dahyun reached over the bed to pick up the white t-shirt she’d been wearing the night before. Slipping it over her head, the high schooler sleepily shuffled over to her dresser and pulled on a fresh pair of panties.

        Dahyun was certain the ones she’d used the night before were completely ruined from the events of last night, but she could deal with that later. It was a minor casualty she could afford. Dahyun smirked to herself. She had plenty of panties to spare…or for Sana to ruin. Still dragging her feet a little, Dahyun rubbed at her eyes and parted the balcony curtains.

        A brilliant sky of egg shell blue and tufts of cotton cloud greeted her as she glanced upwards above the tree line. Stepping through the threshold, she observed that the sun was nearly blinding. Quickly, Dahyun shielded her eyes with one hand. “Good morning, Sana-chan,” she mumbled, her voice still a little rough from just waking up.

        Sana turned around to face her, wearing one of the younger girl’s long sleeve white button up shirts. The front of the shirt was completely unbuttoned, showcasing the black lace set of underwear Sana had been wearing the night before. Fuck.

        At the sight of Sana, Dahyun felt as though she’d been jolted awake by an electric current. Her eyes raked up and down every inch of Sana’s exposed figure. She noted the occasional maroon mark trailing down from her neck to her ample breasts, mapping out where Dahyun’s mouth had traveled over the smooth, soft skin last night.

        The younger girl gulped, feeling another wave of want wash over her. It was too early to be feeling such a shock of arousal, but Sana worked wonders, she always did. The sight of the hickeys Dahyun had left on Sana’s milky skin was making the younger girl’s stomach churn as she slowly stepped forward.

        “Morning,” Sana cooed softly, wrapping her arm around the younger girl’s waist before pulling her in for a tender kiss. Dahyun smiled against Sana’s lips, tugging her closer by fisting the fabric of her shirt in between her knuckles. “You look nice,” Dahyun murmurs when they part, unable to keep her eyes from lingering across Sana’s skin. Nimbly, her fingers ran over the unclasped buttons.

        Her voice was set in a low murmur, her tone indicating the way she wants Sana back in her bed, pronto. They had time for a second round, right? “Maybe I should let you borrow my shirts more often, huh?” Sana rolls her eyes playfully at the younger girl’s seductive words, tugging on Dahyun’s arm.

        “I just needed a little something to walk around the house in, but I’ll keep that offer in mind.” She presses one last searing kiss to Dahyun’s lips before she breaks away, eyes sparkling in the morning sun. Dahyun’s hands linger on the small of Sana’s back, feeling the defined lines of the older girl’s muscles.

        “Come on, let’s go back in before some peeping neighbors see us.” Sana leads Dahyun through the balcony doors and back into the younger girl’s bedroom. “I already made us breakfast so we can eat together. I can’t stay for long, I’ve got to head back over to my place and say hello to my parents. They’ve been dying to see me,” Sana says over her shoulder as they step out of Dahyun’s bedroom.

        “Sounds good to me,” the younger girl replied quietly. She couldn’t deny that she was already dreading Sana leaving. Maybe she could invite herself over to the Minatozaki household later in the day? Come knocking on their door with a random housewarming gift? Drop by for dinner? Dahyun would do nearly anything she could to get Sana close to her again, but she understood that family came first.

        Dahyun knew if she’d been gone from home for two years, her parents would most likely want to smother her with love and attention. In fact, they probably wouldn’t even let her go out for a couple days, as if she were under house arrest.

        Yet at the thought of Sana’s parents, Dahyun broke out into a small smile. Truthfully, Dahyun was a regular visitor at the Minatozaki family household. She visited from time to time, catching up with Sana’s parents about how things were going for her during her last few years of high school, chitchatting about her future plans and the like.

        Dahyun allows herself to be led down the stairs, which thankfully weren’t coated with spilt liquor like they were last night, through the pristine living room Dahyun was certain had been trashed last night, and into a spotless kitchen. Needless to say, the younger girl is stunned.

        “Did I…um?” Dahyun trailed off, taking a look around the interior of her house with a bewildered expression playing across her features. “Did I really throw a party last night or was that all just a figment of my imagination and I’m going crazy?”

        Sana giggled at her reaction while fixing up herself a plate of rice, bacon, and eggs from the stovetop. “Adulting,” the older girl said simply, shrugging though she’s undoubtedly pleased by Dahyun’s praising. She passes Dahyun a clean plate with a small smile, shooting her a wink. “You learn how to get things done in a time crunch, it comes handy in a pinch like this.”

        Dahyun places a hand over her heart, grinning slyly, accepting the plate with the other. “Minatozaki Sana, you are in fact a lifesaver.” Sana bites back another smile. It had been ages since she’d heard Dahyun’s wittiness, since she was able to take in every detail of Dahyun from her own eyes rather than her shitty laptop camera.

        “Yeah, yeah, I’m the best, I know,” the older girl teases, carrying her plate over to the cleared off kitchen counter. Dahyun nods her head in agreement as she begins to fork eggs onto her plate, though Sana’s back is turned. The older girl settles on one of the black wooden stools propped up against the side of the counter and immediately begins digging into her breakfast.

        “I managed to get a lot done while you were asleep, but there’s still a lot of cleaning left to do,” Sana says between bites, scarfing down her food. Dahyun slips into the seat next to her and presses a kiss to the older girl’s temple.

        The fact that Sana had thoughtfully made them breakfast and on top of that, had even helped tidy up the house made Dahyun’s heart soar in her chest. “Thank you, Sana-chan. I’ll make it up to you somehow.”

        In her mind, Dahyun was already planning to text Yeri, Tzuyu, and Chaeyoung about coming over to help clean the house up. Her three best friends owed her for throwing this summer bash, and Dahyun knew they wouldn’t hesitate to lend a hand. She was sure she’d have them squaring away the house in no time.

        The pair share another loving look before turning back to their food. A few moments later, Sana chuckled, pushing away her empty plate. “Alright, then, Dahyun-chan. How about you make it up to me later, when I take a shower before I go over to my house?”

        Dahyun chokes on the mouthful of eggs she’d shoveled into her mouth. “Sana!” She sputters, smacking the older girl across the shoulder. Sana chuckled, her eyes still glinting with mischief. “I was just kidding,” Sana mumbles as she took her plate over to the sink, shooting Dahyun a sly wink.

        While Sana went upstairs to Dahyun’s to take a shower and get ready, Dahyun messaged her friends to come around within the next hour or so to help her clean up the rest of the house. Carefully, she washed her and Sana’s dishes, checked up on her social media, and nervously stirred herself a cup of coffee.

        As she pondered on ways to talk to Sana, she stared out of the kitchen window and into the backyard. The freshly dewed blades of grass were tinted with the obnoxious artificial red of solo cups. Empty glass liquor bottles were cluttered at the bottom of the pool’s clear reflection, marring the scene of the sky within it.

        This was one of the main reasons why Dahyun preferred attending people’s parties and not hosting them. Unaware of Sana creeping up on her from behind, Dahyun continued peering through the window, sipping at her coffee carefully. How easy it could be to just glaze over all the details of the past two years, she thought to herself.

        “How long till your parents come back?” Sana asked, nuzzling into Dahyun’s neck. Luckily, the younger girl didn’t give with a start at her sudden appearance. Her hands fold themselves on top of Dahyun’s slender stomach, resting against tense muscle.

        Gently, so as to not knock Dahyun’s coffee out of her hand, Sana placed a flurry of kisses against her neck. “Almost two weeks,” Dahyun sighed, leaning her body back into Sana’s.

        “Hm.”

        “What?”

        “Nothing. I was just thinking, that’s all,” Sana replied. “Why don’t you drop by my house tonight for dinner or something? I’m sure my parents would love to see you at our table again, and I wouldn’t mind seeing my favorite girl, either.”

        At this, Dahyun’s mood brightened considerably. She’d been hoping for an invitation, but hadn’t wanted to say anything. “Yes!” The younger girl cheered. “I’d love to, Sana-chan!” She feels Sana smiling against her skin, feels the soaring of her heart.

        Being invited to dinner is almost enough for her to ignore the tiny voice echoing in the back of her mind, urging her to ask about what all of this meant. She knew she’d have to get around to this question eventually, and decided that she’d had enough of waiting a long time ago. Better sooner than later, right?

        “Sana-chan?” Dahyun asks, placing a hand over Sana’s. Her voice came out a little bit strangled, feeling a sudden surge of nervousness coursing through her veins. Dahyun swallowed, hard, unsure as to why she wanted to avoid the subject altogether.

        “Yes?” Sana’s voice was soft, her smile encouraging her to speak her mind.

        “When will we be able to…talk?”

        Sana slowly pulls away, turning Dahyun around so the younger girl can see the smile stretching across her face. “I’ve been meaning to ask you that, too,” she says, trapping Dahyun against the kitchen counter. Her hands fit themselves over the swell of Dahyun’s hips perfectly.

        “We’ve got a lot to catch up on, huh?” Sana asks in that low voice that made Dahyun’s knees tremble. When did it get so hot, again? Dahyun felt her cheeks burning. Quickly, Dahyun sets her coffee mug on the counter, pushing it away to a safe distance as she watches Sana’s eyes darken. Dahyun nods, “We sure do.”

        The older girl giggles at how fast the younger girl agrees, stepping forward until their bodies are pressing together against the kitchen counter. “How about after dinner tonight? I can tell my parents we’re having another sleepover, that way we can spend the whole night talking and catching up.” As Sana speaks, she leans closer and closer, stopping only until both of their faces are mere inches apart.

        Today, Sana smells like Dahyun’s shampoo, light and airy and coconut scented. Her hair is tousled and spilling down her shoulders, still slightly damp. Just before Sana brushes their lips together, Dahyun notices that she’s borrowing another one of her dress shirts and smiles.

        It dizzied her how easily Sana could switch from being perfectly serious to downright seductive, but it was a good kind of dizzy. As if they’ve done this a million times, Dahyun twines her arms around Sana’s neck, tugging her closer with a satisfied hum vibrating through both of their lips.

        They kiss slowly, tenderly, savoring every second they have before Sana has to leave. When they break apart, both of them are breathing heavily, and Sana places her forehead on top of Dahyun’s. “I’ll text you about dinner, okay?” Sana murmurs, eyelashes fanning down at Dahyun as the corners of her eyes crinkle up into another sweet smile.

        When Dahyun dips her head in a slight nod, the older girl leans in for another kiss, fingertips digging into Dahyun’s hips, causing her to gasp aloud. “Walk me to the door, Dahyun-chan?” Sana asks after pulling away, shooting her a wink.

        Hand in hand, Dahyun leads Sana over towards the front door, trying not to think about how badly she wanted to drag the older girl back upstairs to her bed or kiss her again or even spend the rest of her days with her.

        She unlocks the door and tries not to begin the mental countdown of how many hours were left before she’d be able to see Sana again. Already, she felt dread pooling in the pit of her stomach. “Hey,” Sana murmured, somehow able to sense Dahyun’s uneasiness. She tugged on Dahyun’s hand and tucked a lock of the younger girl’s dark brown hair behind her ear.

        Sighing, Sana let her hand rest there, cupping the side of Dahyun’s face lovingly. “You know I love you, right?” Sana whispered, brushing her thumb across the younger girl’s cheek. Her eyes are soft, like melted chocolate, and they glimmer with something that makes Dahyun swoon. “I love you, too,” Dahyun replied, cupping Sana’s hand in her own and pressing her lips against her open palm.

        Sana smiles, wide and brilliant and reassuringly. “I know you do,” she says with a smug voice, giggling. Dahyun scoffs, playfully rolling her eyes as her heart does flips inside her chest. “Yeah, yeah.” Currently, the younger girl has a million questions to ask, but hearing Sana utter those words have helped her relax.

        It could wait until this evening; her patience and strength had been renewed. Sana loves her. She loves Sana. Nothing could ruin this moment for the younger girl. Every single last doubt in her mind was perfectly silenced by Sana’s sudden confession. Dahyun reaches for the doorknob as she tries to hide her grin, turns it, and pushes the door open.

        The two step out into the front porch, feeling the way the air was beginning to heat up with the summer sun. There was one question, however, that couldn’t wait. “When do you have to leave for Seoul?” Dahyun asks, leaning against one of the columns of her house. Biting her lip nervously, she crosses her arms against her chest, waiting to hear the older girl’s answer.

        Sana mirrors her actions, resting her back on the pillar opposite to her. “When’s your summer vacation over, again?” She asks, tilting her head cutely to the side. Dahyun shrugs, trying to remember. “In two and a half months, I think. August is when we start back up.” Sana nods slowly, “I’ll be home for this whole summer.”

        Dahyun’s eyebrows nearly catapult off of her face. “W-what?” Her voice is a mixture of surprise, shock, and excitement. The younger girl’s eyes were wide, her mouth still ajar with disbelief. It was a cute expression on her, Sana thought. “What about your job?”

        Sana shrugged nonchalantly, “I’m taking a short leave of absence. No biggie. My boss was pretty nice about, seeing as I’ve never missed a shift and hardly taken a day off since I started working there.” When Dahyun’s expression failed to change after a full three seconds of silence, Sana burst out into a fit of laughter.

        “I figured this summer would be the perfect time for us to…reconnect,” Sana murmured shyly. “It’s easy to forget how quickly time passes. I hardly feel like I’ve left this city.” At the mention of time, Dahyun’s face morphs into something more solemn. Unintentionally, Sana had brought up the younger girl’s fears once more.

        Dahyun’s eyes lower to the smooth concrete of the porch, and she nods her head. “But I’m here now!” Sana exclaims, waving her hands in the air. She pulls Dahyun into a quick hug and grins. “Don’t forget to come over tonight,” Sana says. Obediently, the younger girl nods her head. “I won’t.” Humming, Sana places a chaste kiss on Dahyun’s cheek.

        She lets go of Dahyun and begins backing off of the porch, still facing her. “Don’t miss me too much!” Sana calls out, twirling around to make her way down the brick pathway towards the sidewalk. Dahyun shakes her head, smiling to herself and leaning against another pillar. She watches Sana go with her heart feeling lighter than ever.

        As if sensing Dahyun’s gaze, Sana peered over her shoulder a couple times, shooting the younger girl a wink or two. With one last wave, Sana disappeared into her own house, leaving Dahyun staring after the shut door. Dahyun snickered to herself before turning on her heel. “That girl…,” Dahyun muttered to herself.

        Bursting with enthusiasm for tonight, the high schooler entered her empty house and began preparing for her friends to arrive. She had enough time for a quick shower before the three of them showed up on her doorstep. Her lips still tingling from the taste of Sana’s kiss, Dahyun hummed happily as she got ready.

        The high school senior could hardly believe it – Sana was staying for the whole summer. Sana loved her. Sana was back. Like a mantra, the older girl’s name repeated itself in her head, over and over again. As she dried her hair, she made up her mind to tell her friends about Sana.

        When the doorbell rang fifteen minutes later, she swung open the door and dragged Chaeyoung, Tzuyu, and Yeri inside the foyer, bursting forth with everything she and Sana were and ever had been.


	6. The Minds We Had

        “Hold on, what’s this chick’s name again?” Yeri interrupted Dahyun, puzzlement etched across her sharp features.

        The blond haired girl picked up her trash bag and shoved another fistful of festive party streamers into its depths, wiping the sweat off of her forehead with the back of her wrist.

        She grimaced as a couple shreds of flimsy purple paper as they stuck to her gloved hand, refusing to release her. “Tch. This stuff is gross.”

        “Her name is Sana,” Dahyun grunted. She shot Yeri a pointed look while she mopped up a dried puddle of punch off of the hardwood floor. “Right, right,” Yeri mumbled, scouring the floor for more papier-mâché. “My bad.”

        All four of them were tackling the ruins of the basement, the last area of Dahyun’s house that needed to be cleared away. On the other side of the room, Tzuyu was stacking up neat rows of empty red solo cups on top of the countertop of the kitchen bar.

        Though she had remained silent ever since Dahyun had started telling them all about Sana and their long, detailed past, Dahyun could tell that Tzuyu had been listening. The younger girl had a penchant for quietly gathering every scrap of information she could before passing on her own opinions and judgements.

        “How come you’ve never told us about her before, Dahyun-ah?” Chaeyoung piped up, taking advantage of the pause in Dahyun’s recounting. She tossed another plastic cup into Tzuyu’s pile while she scooped up empty glass bottles, carefully setting them in the large recycling bin she was lugging around.

        The shorter girl pressed a sweet kiss to Tzuyu’s cheek before moving on to another area, pleased to see the taller girl freeze in place, blushing. “No wonder why you haven’t gotten a girlfriend yet,” Yeri teased. “You’ve been caught up on Sana this whole time, haven’t you?”

        Dahyun groans, scrubbing furiously at the stubborn stain that simply refused to disappear. It had faded ever so slightly from vibrant red, but still stood out on the floor.

        “Look, it’s true that Sana made up a big part of my life, but once she left from college...I figured I should at least try and move on. I didn’t want to keep pining over someone I thought was out of my league,” Dahyun explained, a hint of sadness welling up in her voice.

        She narrows her eyes at Yeri when the blond throws her head back and cackles. Coughing, Yeri instantly turned back around and got back to work, fearing the wrath of Dahyun’s temper. “It’s just that I never found someone...who could compare to the way she made me feel, if that makes sense?” Dahyun continued, quirking her lips to the side.

        “No feelings came to me as easily as they did with Sana, if I was lucky enough to even feel something for someone else, that is.” The basement grew quiet, her three best friends contemplating heavily on her words. Dahyun felt a prick of nervousness, of shame.

        Ever since sophomore year rolled around, Dahyun’s best friends had been trying to get her to go out on dates. Yeri had finally gotten around to asking her childhood sweetheart, Kim Saeron, out on a date during the first week of school that year, and Chaeyoung and Tzuyu had been together since middle school.

        On the off chance that Saeron could join the four of them (she was a grade below Yeri, an eighth grader at the time they started dating, and her parents set strict parameters on her curfew), the other girls always thought Dahyun would feel like the odd man out. A fifth wheel.

        In some sense, they were right. Dahyun did feel a little bit left out whenever she hung out with the two couples. If they went out to eat, she’d look on with a fixated smile as Chaeyoung fed Tzuyu bites of her food and Yeri and Saeron cutely shared a milkshake.

        It was in those moments that Dahyun missed Sana the most. Because of this, Dahyun envisioned Sana alongside the five of them. Over the years, she’d perfected images of Sana laughing along to one of Yeri’s jokes.

        She could imagine Sana admiring Chaeyoung for her latest work of art when Dahyun had walked into the art room after school one day. She’d found the shorter girl pouring her heart and soul into a blank canvas, an assignment from her teacher, and could almost see Sana with her sparkling brown eyes widening at the sight of Chaeyoung’s artistic skills.

        Not only that, but she could see Sana praising Saeron’s acting skills. Knowing how kind and compassionate the older girl was towards her close friends, she liked to think Sana would tape all of Saeron’s dramas or go over lines if the younger girl needed help rehearsing.

        She could envision Sana wordlessly checking up on Tzuyu whenever she seemed more quiet than usual, careful not to draw any unwanted attention to either of them. To Dahyun, Sana’s lack of presence had been like a fatal wound. But all wounds heal with time, and she had plenty of it to recover with Sana having been in college.

        “Two years is quite a long time,” Tzuyu said at last, as if reading Dahyun’s racing mind. The tallest amongst them shoved a stack of cups into a trash can and glanced up at Dahyun with a curious glint in her eyes, indicating that she had a point she wanted to get across.

        “Are you sure Sana’s the same person you remember her to be? It’s possible she could’ve changed since the last time you saw her. College is a little different than high school,” Tzuyu continued thoughtfully. Dahyun nodded her head at the younger girl, re-soaking her mop, mulling over Tzuyu’s thoughts.

        After a moment, she splashes the mop back onto the floor, and the pesky red stain finally disappeared from the floor. Satisfied that she’s done a good enough of a cover up job, Dahyun pauses, pondering how to respond to the younger girl’s questions without revealing too much detail about the night she had shared with Sana.

        “Well, we...reconnected last night over a couple things, but tonight we’re really going to make sure we’re both on the same page,” she said. A tender smile spread across her face as she remembered each searing moment where Sana had been laying her bed, kissing down her neck, touching her bare skin.

        Her best friends could spot her blush from a mile away, and after exchanging glances with each other, wisely chose not to tease her over it. “I just hope that she wants the same thing as I do,” Dahyun mutters, scanning the floor for anymore stains to mop up.

        Chaeyoung flashes her a grin and picks up the last glass bottle from the basement floor. “Well, it sounds to me like she’s a lovely girl, Dahyun-ah,” Chaeyoung says excitedly. “Yeah, I’m sure that it’ll work out,” Tzuyu piped up with some enthusiasm.

        “I think there’s this saying that sometimes in order to be found you need to get lost in the first place...maybe that applies to you and Sana. Maybe you both needed these two years apart before you could meet back up again.” The brunette shrugs her shoulders, glancing at her girlfriend for a second, watching Chaeyoung grasp at the handles of her recycle bin.

        A fond expression washes over Tzuyu’s features. “Either way, I think the both of you have a lot to discuss tonight after you go over and have dinner at her place,” Tzuyu said, turning away from Chaeyoung to give Dahyun a pointed look.

        Behind her, Chaeyoung nodded in agreement. She set the full recycling bin on top of one of the countertops and leaned a hip against it. “I’m sure Sana’s return has got to be some kind of a sign you’re both meant to be together or something like that, Dahyun-ah,” the shorter girl stated with a toothy smile.

        Yeri straightens from stooping to the floor on the other side of the room, groaning ever so slightly as her back pops in three different places. The three of them turn towards her, watching as she flashed them a grin, waving dust bunnies into the air with a wave of her arm.

        “I’ve always been a believer in fairy tales,” she winks at Dahyun, walking over to them with her trash bag full of scrap paper. Looking around, Dahyun noticed that the four of them had finally cleared up the last of the party’s remains. “Sounds like this Sana girl’s some kind of modern day Disney princess...when do we get to meet the lucky girl, Dahyun-ah?”

        Dahyun merely blushed, shrugging her shoulders. She hadn’t been expecting her friends to want to meet Sana so soon, but she figured it was just their protective instincts coming out. After all, this was the first time Dahyun had ever mentioned a romantic interest, let alone one who she’d kept secret from them.

        Anticipation shone in the eyes of her closest friends, affection welling up from her heart. It seemed like they were dying to meet the Japanese girl, and she was thankful all of them were supportive of trying to sort things out with her.

        “Sana told me she’s going to be sticking around Seongnam until we have to go back to school. So maybe once we’ve…settled everything we can work something out,” Dahyun said at last, biting her lip. “I’ll ask her if she wants to go out on a triple date with all of us or something.” A round of cheers erupted around her, and she waved them off.

        “No promises, though! It’s up to her.” Beside her, Yeri snickered and swatted at Chaeyoung’s arm. “If Sana’s just as whipped as you seem to be for her, I can guarantee by this week we’ll be hanging out together. How much do you wanna bet, Chae?”

        Dahyun scoffed at her before playfully punching at the blonde’s shoulder. “Yah! If you don’t start respecting your elders, I might make you carry these trash bags out to the dumpster all by yourself!” At Dahyun’s threat, Yeri scampered up the stairwell, feet pattering against the floor towards the back door of the house. “No way!” Yeri screamed as she escaped from the house, leaving the rest of the girls laughing in her wake.

        Once the four of them had hefted their trash bags into the garbage bins outside the back of Dahyun’s house, Tzuyu, Chaeyoung, and Yeri all decided to stay and help kill a few more hours before Dahyun had to go over to Sana’s for dinner.

        It was easy to tell that the oldest amongst them was more than a little nervous for tonight, and the three girls merely wanted to try and ease the older girl’s nerves as best as they could. Dahyun’s skin had turned a paler shade than her usual pallor, thoughts drifting back to dinner with Sana’s family.

        Whenever one of them tried to strike up a conversation after they went back inside the house, the older girl ended up zoning out midway, causing them to wave a hand in her face. They all ended up ordering a pizza and binge watching Netflix, sprawled out across the furniture in Dahyun’s living room.

        Absentmindedly, Dahyun would glance her phone every couple of minutes or so, checking for a text from Sana. She hadn’t heard a peep from Sana since the older girl had told her that she loved her and sent her off this morning with a goodbye kiss.

        While her friends laughed at the television screen, Dahyun was thinking back to the morning, when she and Sana had told each other they loved one another for the first time. She recalled the older girl’s smile, the way she effortlessly sent butterflies tingling through her stomach with a single glance. Tonight, they’d be able to get everything out into the open.

        Dahyun imagined all the things she would ask Sana, chalking up a mental list as she stared at her phone, waiting for her text. Have you dated anyone since you left for college? Do you still feel the same? Why now? Did you always feel this way about us? What happens when you have to leave for Seoul? Will we still talk? What if I don’t make it into the University of Seoul, would you still want to try this?

        Unconsciously, Dahyun began to frown down at her lap. It’s one thing for someone to tell you that they love you, but it’s a whole different situation all together for them to show it. What if Sana had been lying? Sana would never do that to her, right? She knew Dahyun’s fears of the future, and it hurt the younger girl to imagine all of this was just some kind of summer fling.

        Beside her, Chaeyoung threw an arm around her shoulders, snapping her out of her daze. “You alright there, Dahyun-ah?” The shorter girl asked, tilting her head towards the television. “I’m pretty sure that this is your favorite show and you haven’t even glanced at it once since we finished off the pizza.”  

        Dahyun scratched the back of her neck, tucking her phone back into her jeans pocket. “Sorry, sorry, I was just thinking.” She didn’t have to say Sana’s name for the three of them to know it was her she was talking about. There came the sound of popcorn crunching from across the room, and her attention became focused on Yeri, who had slipped off to the kitchen to make a batch of the delicious snack without her noticing.

        “Maybe you should do less of that,” the blond haired girl teased, though her eyes were sparkling with a hint of worry. Despite all of her joking around, Yeri was just as kind hearted and caring as Chaeyoung and Tzuyu, she just had a different way of showing it. From the other side of Chaeyoung, Tzuyu looked over at Dahyun with a small smile. She leaned over and rested a reassuring hand on Dahyun’s knee.

        “I think what Yeri’s trying to say here is you should just try and relax, let things unfold naturally,” the youngest of them explained, shooting Yeri a death glare. “No matter what you do, you can’t force a relationship, so it’s just best to hope for the best and roll with the punches.” As Tzuyu spoke, Chaeyoung broke out into a wide grin, watching her girlfriend dole out wise relationship advice fondly.

        The aspiring artist pressed a kiss to Tzuyu’s cheek, “Have I told you I love you today?” Blushing, Tzuyu looked down at her lap, fiddling with her fingers, “Only about ten times so far.” Dahyun and Yeri both groaned out loud at the overly cheesiness of the moment. “Please tell me I’m not as greasy as you two when I’m with Saeron,” Yeri begged, shoving another handful of popcorn into her mouth.

        Dahyun smirked at the blond haired girl, “Trust me, you’re nothing like that.” Yeri breathed a sigh of relief, theatrically wiping her forehead with the back of her hand. But Dahyun wasn’t finished quite yet. “You’re even cheesier, Kim Yerim!” Yeri gasped from across the room, and quickly sat up with her bowl of popcorn armed.

        “Yah!” The blond screeched, attacking the sofa with a handful of the snack aimed towards Dahyun. “Take that back, Kim Dahyun!” While Yeri showered them with popcorn kernels, Tzuyu and Chaeyoung burst out laughing, helping the girl swat away the kernels in between their giggling. When Yeri ran out of popcorn to toss, she joined in with her friends’ laughter and stood to pick the kernels up from the floor.

        “Maybe you’re right,” she said, winking at Dahyun. “I’ve got a pretty big soft spot for Saeron.” Dahyun leaned down to brush the white fluffy puffs off of the couch cushions with a smile. “We’ll just have to see how whipped Dahyun-ah is when we meet Sana, huh?” Chaeyoung piped up, expertly throwing one of the kernels up into the air and munching down on it.

        Tzuyu scooped popcorn back into Yeri’s bowl, nodding her head. “I can’t wait to see whipped Dahyun,” she laughed, bumping her shoulder against Chaeyoung’s. Dahyun covered her face with her hands, leaning against the back of the sofa for support as she endured her friends’ teasing. Just as she was about to whine at them to stop, her phone buzzed, causing everyone to freeze.

        Three pairs of eyes locked onto Dahyun, giving her expectant looks. There was only one person who could be messaging the high school senior, and everyone’s minds turned to one singular name. Sana. Slowly, Dahyun reached for her phone, body buzzing with anticipation. She strained to keep her face into a straight line, yet a smile began tugging at the corners of her mouth and she couldn’t resist breaking out into a wild grin.

        “Well?” Yeri inquired after a full minute of silence, fighting for a glance at the older girl’s screen. “What did it say?” Dahyun giggled. “Sana says to come over at seven for dinner, and to wear something casual.” While Chaeyoung and Yeri cheered along with Dahyun, Tzuyu checked her watch with a concerned look.

        “Hold on, hold on, seven o’clock?” The tallest of them asked, looking at Dahyun for confirmation. “Yeah, why?” Dahyun asked absentmindedly, too busy shooting the Japanese girl a quick reply to notice her friend’s worried tone. “You know you have exactly twenty-three minutes before you have to get going, right?” Dahyun jerks up from the couch as if she’d been struck by lightning.

        “What!” Dahyun hollered, scampering up the stairwell at top speed and leaving her friends staring at her in bewilderment. “I still have to shower! Oh my god, I was going to get flowers!” The girl screeched, slamming her bedroom door behind her in a blur. Tzuyu, Chaeyoung, and Yeri looked at each other with wide eyes.

        “I suppose that’s our cue to leave,” Chaeyoung laughed after a moment, getting up from the sofa, hand in hand with Tzuyu. The three of them make their way towards the front door when it becomes apparent Dahyun’s too busy rushing to get ready to come back down and wish them farewell. “Good luck, Dahyun-ah!” Yeri yelled into the house before shutting the door behind them. “Heaven knows she’s going to need it.”


End file.
